“New Year's Eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted...”~Hamilton Wright Mabie
I read this today and sighed a bit of relief. Except for the overwhelmingly marketed holiday of NYE! certainly it has no real meaning..not that I don't love the celebration. This year I am being pretty quite with a couple of bottles of white wine and one of my very best friends, as we joyously and often hysterically will welcome in the new year. But in years past I have done the whole going out party thing and really do like it.
Yet, really it is all meaningless. The universe does keep marching. Our lives keep marching as well. The clock goes on and on. But tonight does have special meaning for me. I am letting go of 2009, which as been my toughest year, I am letting it all go, letting it all go. I have spent countless hours weeping and having bad dreams. Yet found a bit of magic to blow into, with writing and painting and running and gardening and yoga-ing :) and laughing with some very dear friends, who held me up and
I read this today and sighed a bit of relief. Except for the overwhelmingly marketed holiday of NYE! certainly it has no real meaning..not that I don't love the celebration. This year I am being pretty quite with a couple of bottles of white wine and one of my very best friends, as we joyously and often hysterically will welcome in the new year. But in years past I have done the whole going out party thing and really do like it.
Yet, really it is all meaningless. The universe does keep marching. Our lives keep marching as well. The clock goes on and on. But tonight does have special meaning for me. I am letting go of 2009, which as been my toughest year, I am letting it all go, letting it all go. I have spent countless hours weeping and having bad dreams. Yet found a bit of magic to blow into, with writing and painting and running and gardening and yoga-ing :) and laughing with some very dear friends, who held me up and
celebrated
me.
I still wish, wish, wish, I could wave a magic wand and have the life I dreamt of for so long, the life I tried to make real for so long, to have "him" work out, I wish I could wake up tomorrow and it would all be so. But this was the year to face the reality, that it was never meant to be, I only stretched out the ending for almost 20 years. So I am letting it all go, and still it is very hard.
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