Tis The Season

It is weird to be living in the financial times that are suddenly upon us. Well maybe not suddenly. It has been creeping up for years, let's face it, but I don't think most of us really knew..I don't know, I can only speak for myself. Things seemed pretty good, and then wham over the last 6 months or so, it was like a free fall out of a plane, and we are still falling and I wonder "when I will hit the bottom" to quote a line out of a monologue my daughter recently recited from Alice in Wonderland, at an audition. I loved that line.

When I read, "this only happens once or twice in 100 years" it feels so unreal, really, I am living in a time that seems like something a grandparent would tell me about...now when I am a grandparent I can look back on these times? Odd!!

I was a realtor for a couple of years, in the height of great times (it was still very hard to make a living, because there are way TOO many realtors--another story!) but one thing I remember so clearly, is every mortgage broker drilling in our minds, "we can get ANYONE a loan!" And it was true. And like evangelists, we would tell any prospective client that, because there were so many people skidish to sit down with a mortgage broker out of fear, but we would allay their fears and tell them they would get a loan, and they would! I had no idea this was the precursor of bad things to follow. I thought people would be so over the moon about getting a loan, they would do whatever it takes to keep it, within reason..I can see when your mortgage is thousands per month, and now you don't have a job, or a much less one, and there is no way to make that payment..or your house has sunk so far in value that you are paying on a worthless investment--I can understand these foreclosures..but when people's mortgages are under $200k, I just don't get being foreclosed on--that is not that big of a monthly payment..rent out a room, get another job, whatever, "Make it work people!" to quote Tim Gunn. Maybe I just don't get it, what other realities people live in.

But that was not what I was going to write about, but I guess it all encompasses us, as we move into the holidays full force, now that Christmas music fills the radio waves, and every store has blinking lights and singing toys, and wrapping paper, and trinkets and toys, lawn ornaments, fake Christmas trees, and wrapped up gift sets..In polls I have read, 50% of those polled said they will not be shopping this year, that is pretty astounding. I wonder what the season will be like, and I think it will be dismal, as far as spending. But maybe it will be rich in other elements. Potluck parties, and old movies, and walks around the neighborhood, and community events, and reconnecting with family members and good friends. Maybe it will be okay to re gift this year (not that I ever saw anything wrong with bringing a bottle of wine to a party that may have been given to you--I felt like my hand had been slapped!) I even joked with my friend that we could wrap up our kid's stuff and re gift it to them! I have always believed in the gift under $10--there is so much out there. Charity should be top of the list--give to something. I read in Suze Orman's book recently how giving to charity seems to bring more money in your own door. Give what you can afford.

I am kind of tired of email threads telling me not to complain as an American and to be happy with what I have. I already feel like that (not that it is not easy to complain..Americans are born and bred on buying things!) but yet, this year might just be about spending very little and appreciating what we have, and loving the free times and moments out there that are there for the taking, and hey, if you have to do some re gifting I see nothing wrong with it :) tis the season for so many things, these 5 weeks will be over before we know it, so I am going to try to be like the scene in the Grinch, and let my heart grow 10 times this season, filled with glee for what I already have.

My Dad

Today, as I began, I hope, on a running program.. (but you never know, these things have a way of falling by the wayside, don't they?) but hopefully this time..I listened to my music on my little music player as I ran around and around in circles on the track at the YMCA. One of the Neil Diamond songs came on, I cannot recall which one, but a slow one, and almost like being shot back in time, I recalled my father, so gingerly holding one of my small siblings, at perhaps age one or under, and slowly dancing with them as Neil Diamond played on the large "hi-fi" in the living room. I could hear the fire crackling in the fire place and the popcorn and "special drinks" (this was Coke or 7Up that we kids got one time a week) and I was so pulled back to that living room and that time that it was almost overwhelming. And the time is gone, there is no going back, and I was sad and filled with a sense of lost as I ran around the track, lost in a moment in time.

Does Anyone Care

I am in love, I mean really, with the idea of having a blog. I heard about it years ago when I still lived in the Bay Area, and listened to Ron Owens religiously, and remember hearing the word "blog." I had never heard it before. It is as memorable as when I heard the name "Madonna" and had never heard of her (this was back in 1984 or so, so I was not too far behind..)
Anyhow, I don't know why I did not start blogging then and there--I guess I had no idea how simple it was to start, or maybe it got a whole lot simpler the last few years, I have no idea. But it is like this cool thing to do with your thoughts, and because it is on the internet, it seems so "real" so much better than those damn journals I used to fill up. And yet, I wonder, how many blogs are out there, and for the most part Does Anyone Care, really? I don't know, but I am going to guess that most of us are alone with our blogs, unless we happen to get an audience following us, which sounds really cool.

November Morning

The lovely fall days we had, that still had the glow of sun and warm days have quietly ushered out. It is so fast here, one day it is still a nice fall day with the sun smiling on you, and the next day the rain has set in and the sky is gray. Different from California, where it seemed at times summer might just not end, but then nice days never totally left..here..we can count on gray for 4-5 months, maybe a spot of sun here or there. I can see why people living here get a bit cranky with the weather--it is a bit overwhelming at times. I cannot say it is all bad though. There is something quietly beautiful and serene about a gray fall or winter day. It is like the outside is in a deep sleep and we are part of a fairy tale. I find it inspiring. I never do, but always wish I could, go for a walk deep in a forest, not in the pouring rain, but in a mist perhaps, with the skies gray with winter, and like walking deep into my soul, that is how it would feel to me. It is like the quiet days of winter have secrets ready to unfold.

November

Well we got out of that totally crap month of October. For me personally, that month almost brought me to my knees. Well I guess on some level it did. Finances, finances, finances, everywhere you look. I felt like I could not breathe...But now, maybe because the election is behind us, maybe because I have gotten used to the bad news of the stock market, maybe because I took some deep breaths, took a serious look at my own financial life and so many mishaps I have done, maybe because time, like in all things, passed, and made things different to look at 3 weeks later than they did 3 weeks ago, I don't know. But I feel different. I still feel stressed, but now I feel kind of challenged, and also feel empowered to take charge and make massive changes. I feel almost excited to live below my means and watch every dollar. I also want to get beyond my own little worries and live in a bigger circle. Our new president, Barack Obama, I believe has the ability to, and already has, inspire a nation to get to the task of thinking beyond the end of our noses. I feel like we are walking in a whole new time.

Getting Started

Well it is 6:04 am and I sit here kind of dumbfounded. I am now a blogger, how exciting :) This post is not exciting, well at least it is not at this moment. It is all a bit overwhelming to me.
But I may have just stumbled on the first stepping stone of a hidden path of what I have been looking for.