“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.Watch your words, for they become actions.Watch your actions, for they become habits.Watch your habits, for they become character.Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love getting these inspirational messages in my in box every morning. Every time I read a message a little bell rings in my head ..like..."teacher says every time a bell rings, daddy, an angel gets his wings.." Remember what movie that is from...It is a Wonderful Life..which happens to be my favorite movie ever. ..Anyhow...when the little bell rings inside my head, I am not sure if I am getting angel wings or anything else...but it does give me the opportunity to reflect on my life. Sometimes I wonder, "wow, how did I get here.." I mean there are endless paths to take, although it often does not seem so, and where I am is all about the paths I took. I clearly remember EXIT signs as well, but I did not heed them, it was like I just could not read them, and I kept on my path.
Looking at that paragraph above, it is easy to start with my thoughts..somewhere a long time ago, I decided I was not good enough, I did not deserve the shining care and attention and love and respect, I decided I was not worth what I really knew I was..so I put myself "on sale." And I pretty much said I was "on sale," and I acted like I was not top notch, and I got used to it. And I created this "me" that was not "me" at all, and I created my destiny. A life span over the last 30 years since young adulthood.
Some of the choices I have made have been good, they have been good paths, like work. I don't love what I do, but it is a great job and has had longevity, great places to work, great people to work with, at times fabulous pay, and very stable overall. I made that decision when I was 22 and saw sales people in my office where I was an admin., and knew right then and there I had to get on that path. That was a good decision, but a bad decision over and over on dealing with money...if I had been smart, I would be very well off. But I was not smart with my money, and that was along the path that were the wrong decisions...
Having my two children were my best decisions ever. They are my legacy and there is nothing I could do in my own life that rivals having them and what they have to offer the world.
I have made lots of good choices, and I am really happy to see that. But along the line, I made blind decisons on my life, on being loved, on being valued, and I just was on a train I could not stop or get off. It is amazing how we survive these rides we put ourselves on. Some people are not fortunate and they never get off, they live a life of quiet desparation, and silent misery, and go to the grave or the crematorium having missed their life.
I am lucky, I saw an EXIT sign in the last year and I noticed it, for the first time in a long time, I was awake. I did NOT want to see the sign, I really wanted the sign to be a DETOUR or UNDER CONSTRUCTION sign, but it wasn't. So I got off that freeway or off that train, and started something altogether new, while keeping a lot of the old, interesting how it all weaves together, all the time, always weaving, some threads are being pulled out, some are brand new, some just keep the same pattern.
So I am watching my thoughts these days, really closely,because at the end of the day they will shape what is left of my destiny. I believe I have so much to offer, and scold myself for hiding out for so long. I am here now, and want to shine.
I love getting these inspirational messages in my in box every morning. Every time I read a message a little bell rings in my head ..like..."teacher says every time a bell rings, daddy, an angel gets his wings.." Remember what movie that is from...It is a Wonderful Life..which happens to be my favorite movie ever. ..Anyhow...when the little bell rings inside my head, I am not sure if I am getting angel wings or anything else...but it does give me the opportunity to reflect on my life. Sometimes I wonder, "wow, how did I get here.." I mean there are endless paths to take, although it often does not seem so, and where I am is all about the paths I took. I clearly remember EXIT signs as well, but I did not heed them, it was like I just could not read them, and I kept on my path.
Looking at that paragraph above, it is easy to start with my thoughts..somewhere a long time ago, I decided I was not good enough, I did not deserve the shining care and attention and love and respect, I decided I was not worth what I really knew I was..so I put myself "on sale." And I pretty much said I was "on sale," and I acted like I was not top notch, and I got used to it. And I created this "me" that was not "me" at all, and I created my destiny. A life span over the last 30 years since young adulthood.
Some of the choices I have made have been good, they have been good paths, like work. I don't love what I do, but it is a great job and has had longevity, great places to work, great people to work with, at times fabulous pay, and very stable overall. I made that decision when I was 22 and saw sales people in my office where I was an admin., and knew right then and there I had to get on that path. That was a good decision, but a bad decision over and over on dealing with money...if I had been smart, I would be very well off. But I was not smart with my money, and that was along the path that were the wrong decisions...
Having my two children were my best decisions ever. They are my legacy and there is nothing I could do in my own life that rivals having them and what they have to offer the world.
I have made lots of good choices, and I am really happy to see that. But along the line, I made blind decisons on my life, on being loved, on being valued, and I just was on a train I could not stop or get off. It is amazing how we survive these rides we put ourselves on. Some people are not fortunate and they never get off, they live a life of quiet desparation, and silent misery, and go to the grave or the crematorium having missed their life.
I am lucky, I saw an EXIT sign in the last year and I noticed it, for the first time in a long time, I was awake. I did NOT want to see the sign, I really wanted the sign to be a DETOUR or UNDER CONSTRUCTION sign, but it wasn't. So I got off that freeway or off that train, and started something altogether new, while keeping a lot of the old, interesting how it all weaves together, all the time, always weaving, some threads are being pulled out, some are brand new, some just keep the same pattern.
So I am watching my thoughts these days, really closely,because at the end of the day they will shape what is left of my destiny. I believe I have so much to offer, and scold myself for hiding out for so long. I am here now, and want to shine.
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