This past year, out of despair, the need to have something to show for the year, feelings to put somewhere, I don't know exactly, but I decided one day I was going to do oil paintings. I went to the store and bought a canvas, some paints, brushes, and an easy to read book (which I barely even paid attention to) and sketched my first painting. Now keep in mind that I have never painted anything, except rooms and picture frames, and a lot of these, oh and a garage floor, and rocks for my garden. But I have never painted anything to put on the wall, I don't think I ever even considered it. Oh, I just had a quick memory--with the divorce, certain artwork left the house. I needed a large piece of art for one wall--and buying something seemed expensive, that is right, that is why I painted my first piece.
Anyhow, I had no idea of the feelings that would come over me while painting. It is like submerging oneself in their own, very small world, in space, but very large in the mind, like one's mind becomes part of some other dimension. Like the clocks stop. The creativity flows so quickly at times it can be hard to keep up, and there are times, when it is a lot of work, it it not always so easy to p a i n t. How many times have we all said, "I could have done that!!" Usually in reaction to some bizarre maybe even horrible abstract mess and it cost hundreds if not thousands..Maybe we could have, maybe not. Just like all those movies, books, plays, "I could have not that!" Maybe, maybe not.
I have come to see that creating is so easy in one way and also so challenging in other ways. It is consuming. Like romantic relationships, but this is just you and your canvas. It is so similar to writing, it is a world one falls into and hopefully the thoughts come like waves and there is no time or space. I love both. Both take considerable work, and yet at the same time are very easy for me.
But I do feel a sense of accomplishment at the completion of each painting--I have done 7 now. It is like giving birth (which is also no easy task--from conception to birth.) And that is a creative process as well. I find myself looking at my painting over and over, I even said today to myself, alone in my office, "I love my painting!" I mean I really do. It is so romantic, and the colors are heavenly, and it invokes in me just what I am looking for, "cannot live without each other love."
My posting from a month or so ago, where I put the picture from Sound of Music, that was my inspiration for my latest painting. http://findingsaratoga.blogspot.com/2009/08/it-is-last-day-of-august.html
And then it is done, and like myself washing back to shore to me, I come back to this time and space. It is like a journey each time. It is like I am having all these journeys this year, without for the most part, leaving my home.
Anyhow, I had no idea of the feelings that would come over me while painting. It is like submerging oneself in their own, very small world, in space, but very large in the mind, like one's mind becomes part of some other dimension. Like the clocks stop. The creativity flows so quickly at times it can be hard to keep up, and there are times, when it is a lot of work, it it not always so easy to p a i n t. How many times have we all said, "I could have done that!!" Usually in reaction to some bizarre maybe even horrible abstract mess and it cost hundreds if not thousands..Maybe we could have, maybe not. Just like all those movies, books, plays, "I could have not that!" Maybe, maybe not.
I have come to see that creating is so easy in one way and also so challenging in other ways. It is consuming. Like romantic relationships, but this is just you and your canvas. It is so similar to writing, it is a world one falls into and hopefully the thoughts come like waves and there is no time or space. I love both. Both take considerable work, and yet at the same time are very easy for me.
But I do feel a sense of accomplishment at the completion of each painting--I have done 7 now. It is like giving birth (which is also no easy task--from conception to birth.) And that is a creative process as well. I find myself looking at my painting over and over, I even said today to myself, alone in my office, "I love my painting!" I mean I really do. It is so romantic, and the colors are heavenly, and it invokes in me just what I am looking for, "cannot live without each other love."
My posting from a month or so ago, where I put the picture from Sound of Music, that was my inspiration for my latest painting. http://findingsaratoga.blogspot.com/2009/08/it-is-last-day-of-august.html
And then it is done, and like myself washing back to shore to me, I come back to this time and space. It is like a journey each time. It is like I am having all these journeys this year, without for the most part, leaving my home.
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