It is a very uncomfortable place to stand, all by oneself. There is no partner, no best friend, no confidant, no life line, nothing. The rest of the world keeps going on, how can they not, nothing stops for just us, and it would be even worst if it did, and then totally stared at, like "where is your best friend?" It is a strange place to be so alone, but so unwilling or more so unable to not be all alone, I guess like purgatory for the heart.
Reading again last night, NO I am not some huge Twilight fan, but it sounds like I am, well okay, I am sort of in love with Edward, well the idea of him, what girl isn't..? minus the vampire part for me..but anyhow, there is way too much on Jacob, (I could just do without Jacob) but while reading Breaking Dawn last night, I kind of identified with him, as he deals with the loss of Bella, well a loss for his heart, as he is in love with her, and she loves him like a best friend or brother (just what everyone wants to hear!!) Anyhow, he realized on a rather weird outing to a park scoping out tons of girls, that none of them really did it for him, because he was still in love with Bella, and he cannot let it go. He has a line, when referring to Bella, "When I stared into her eyes, I saw everything I'd been looking for in the park." And that line just hit me like a ton of bricks. I know the feeling all too well.
And where do we go from here? How do we erase our heart?
I am at a loss for words. I am staring around my office, looking at anything, for some burst of revelation that will propel me, or at least this entry. Nothing. I am alone staring at a computer. Living half day to half day these days, munching on mini candy bars and Smarties to pacify my little inner self, as I go in so many circles.
Reading again last night, NO I am not some huge Twilight fan, but it sounds like I am, well okay, I am sort of in love with Edward, well the idea of him, what girl isn't..? minus the vampire part for me..but anyhow, there is way too much on Jacob, (I could just do without Jacob) but while reading Breaking Dawn last night, I kind of identified with him, as he deals with the loss of Bella, well a loss for his heart, as he is in love with her, and she loves him like a best friend or brother (just what everyone wants to hear!!) Anyhow, he realized on a rather weird outing to a park scoping out tons of girls, that none of them really did it for him, because he was still in love with Bella, and he cannot let it go. He has a line, when referring to Bella, "When I stared into her eyes, I saw everything I'd been looking for in the park." And that line just hit me like a ton of bricks. I know the feeling all too well.
And where do we go from here? How do we erase our heart?
I am at a loss for words. I am staring around my office, looking at anything, for some burst of revelation that will propel me, or at least this entry. Nothing. I am alone staring at a computer. Living half day to half day these days, munching on mini candy bars and Smarties to pacify my little inner self, as I go in so many circles.
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