It is not often that I write 2 entries in one day..maybe never! It is not that I could not, like it is some huge deal! I guess the last 8 months I have sometimes been barely able to breathe let alone find something to say.
But today I read an article that is so spoke to me, that I just had to address it. http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/09/29/o.finding.lasting.love/index.html
All about soul in the relationship, how without it, it is just an empty shell. It talks about 3 kinds of relationships according to Aristotle..Pleasure, Utility, and Shared Virtue. Wow a ton of bricks just bonked me on the head. Which one was my husband in, while pretending to be in Shared Virtue?? I was in Shared Virtue, but had no idea (sounds so ridiculous to say outloud) that he lived in Pleasure, I mean it is so funny that I write this, like some kind of revelation! They are about the EGO and NEVER soul nurture you. Yep that is right, that is my reality for 20 years...masked from time to time in Shared Virtue, enough to make me keep believing in my fantasy. Oh and there was some Utility as well from him, again about EGO and not true love.
Now I don't want to become more important to me than I really am--meaning I am on to big stuff, figuring it all out, going to have an advice column one day! But really, I almost do feel like that. Remember in "The Joy Luck Club" when one of the daughters has the weirdo husband who keeps track of everything 50/50 and even charges her for ice cream, though she doesn't eat it. They have a very uptight home decor as well, the whole vibe is awful. And her mother says, "get out of this lopsided house" or something like that..like the daughter could not see the forest for the trees..and I get it, we get so C O N S U M E D with our relationship, and like an investment we cannot lose, we keep pouring everything into it, hoping to see it soar tomorrow, the next day, next year..but it never happens, most likely it gets worst, like a horrible festering wound, but we cannot see it. That is what I lived. But it was my fantasy that kept me from seeing it, I was like a love struck teenager (funny because my husband told me he no longer wanted kissing like "high school" right before he left) ..and I still really had no clue..because in some ways I will always be the innocent high school girl, barely past Barbie dolls.
I hope I take heed, and don't throw it all to the wind. Keeping close the thought that my soul so wants someone to love it, not USE it and HARM it...I wasted too many years.
But today I read an article that is so spoke to me, that I just had to address it. http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/09/29/o.finding.lasting.love/index.html
All about soul in the relationship, how without it, it is just an empty shell. It talks about 3 kinds of relationships according to Aristotle..Pleasure, Utility, and Shared Virtue. Wow a ton of bricks just bonked me on the head. Which one was my husband in, while pretending to be in Shared Virtue?? I was in Shared Virtue, but had no idea (sounds so ridiculous to say outloud) that he lived in Pleasure, I mean it is so funny that I write this, like some kind of revelation! They are about the EGO and NEVER soul nurture you. Yep that is right, that is my reality for 20 years...masked from time to time in Shared Virtue, enough to make me keep believing in my fantasy. Oh and there was some Utility as well from him, again about EGO and not true love.
Now I don't want to become more important to me than I really am--meaning I am on to big stuff, figuring it all out, going to have an advice column one day! But really, I almost do feel like that. Remember in "The Joy Luck Club" when one of the daughters has the weirdo husband who keeps track of everything 50/50 and even charges her for ice cream, though she doesn't eat it. They have a very uptight home decor as well, the whole vibe is awful. And her mother says, "get out of this lopsided house" or something like that..like the daughter could not see the forest for the trees..and I get it, we get so C O N S U M E D with our relationship, and like an investment we cannot lose, we keep pouring everything into it, hoping to see it soar tomorrow, the next day, next year..but it never happens, most likely it gets worst, like a horrible festering wound, but we cannot see it. That is what I lived. But it was my fantasy that kept me from seeing it, I was like a love struck teenager (funny because my husband told me he no longer wanted kissing like "high school" right before he left) ..and I still really had no clue..because in some ways I will always be the innocent high school girl, barely past Barbie dolls.
I hope I take heed, and don't throw it all to the wind. Keeping close the thought that my soul so wants someone to love it, not USE it and HARM it...I wasted too many years.
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