Fly Away

I..I what..feel a bit stuck..to say it sounds so trite. It really does. But I do. I realize I had a life that ended, quite awhile ago, but I have not really moved on, not in the big sense. While I don't believe I am living so much in the past, but I am in the middle area, and kind of content to be there..there is a certain safety to it, and at the same time it is upsetting and limiting. I was thinking today about how I even hate to think about it, like what am I going to do with myself, and all the questions that float around me everyday, kind of going unanswered, if I can just keep myself under the radar from myself. I like the "old days" of my life, and I did not feel like this every single day, that I had better make fabulous plans for my life. I better read things that were inspiring. I better find new hobbies,and people and places and things....I just "was"everyday, and there was an incredible freedom in that, although I was also totally in prison. So I just switched prisons.

Being too lazy to go do a real Tarot reading, I just pulled this card online:

6 of Swords

Success and moving on.

All around you everything is moving on and you are moving on with it. You are flying free and moving forwards in your life. The sun is shining and there isn’t a cloud in the sky. You may not know where you are going but you might as well enjoy the ride, because it’s going to be better than where you were.

Kind of a perfect card, if you ask me. Maybe I am moving forward everyday and I just don't see it right now. I wish I could fly far far away.