Okay, I don't really mean to have my last two blogs about 2 women (well one a little girl..but man she is way more grown up than the woman..) but these stories just came in at the same time.
When I first sat down to write this, I was and still will, going to write about Nadya, and why I think she is a nut and this whole story is u n b e l i e v a b l e. But now that I see it lined up right next to the amazing story on Nujood Ali, wow, what a contrast. One just a little sweet girl, but more grit and confidence than grown up women AND men. One an overgrown teenager who looks like she is trying to impersonate a movie star and thinks once she gets her degree she can take care of her FOURTEEN children.
When I first saw the headlines, I have to say I was not all the interested. I guess I should be, but multiple births seem to be so common these days, I don't think EIGHT really hit me-it is a BIG deal though. Maybe I was just too distracted with work and layoffs and the tough times of our country to read the story. But then I saw more headlines, and more facts came out, and then I got really interested!! Here is what seems to be true..
She is in her 30s and already has 6 kids under 8. She has used a "friend" sperm donor for all the kids. She was married, I don't think she is divorced yet, but I guess he is not the dad? She lives with her own mother, who apparently went bankrupt last year and seems to resent taking care of her and her kids--I don't get the sense from the interview quotes that she is thrilled over the moon to help with 14 grandkids. Nadya was hurt in work accident quite some years ago, and has received almost $170,000 from the state of CA. The bill for delivering and caring for the 8 babies for a couple of months, at least, in the hospital is well over $1 million! I am sure there are other compelling facts that you already know and more to come.
So with all of this, I think she is a nut and a nut of a story. I don't care how much someone needs to fill their heart and make up for a lost childhood, no one needs 14 kids to do it, even 5, 6, or 7, we all have to fill our hearts ourselves. BUT if one really needs this many, please go adopt them--millions need help. How could a reputable fertility clinic, or even one that isn't reputable, implant all those embryos? She has 6 kids under 8, she has no job or income, what else did the clinic(s) need to know..? to say "sorry, no."
Parenting is a tough job, if you have kids, or even know people with kids, we all know it is the hardest job. So many needs and wants, and costs, and time. One or even two people have a tough time with just a few kids--I know from experience, and being from a family of 7, we made it, but it is a lot of work! My parents were married, my dad had an income, my mom worked from the home, we had a great life, I cannot even image doubling that number to 14!
When I first sat down to write this, I was and still will, going to write about Nadya, and why I think she is a nut and this whole story is u n b e l i e v a b l e. But now that I see it lined up right next to the amazing story on Nujood Ali, wow, what a contrast. One just a little sweet girl, but more grit and confidence than grown up women AND men. One an overgrown teenager who looks like she is trying to impersonate a movie star and thinks once she gets her degree she can take care of her FOURTEEN children.
When I first saw the headlines, I have to say I was not all the interested. I guess I should be, but multiple births seem to be so common these days, I don't think EIGHT really hit me-it is a BIG deal though. Maybe I was just too distracted with work and layoffs and the tough times of our country to read the story. But then I saw more headlines, and more facts came out, and then I got really interested!! Here is what seems to be true..
She is in her 30s and already has 6 kids under 8. She has used a "friend" sperm donor for all the kids. She was married, I don't think she is divorced yet, but I guess he is not the dad? She lives with her own mother, who apparently went bankrupt last year and seems to resent taking care of her and her kids--I don't get the sense from the interview quotes that she is thrilled over the moon to help with 14 grandkids. Nadya was hurt in work accident quite some years ago, and has received almost $170,000 from the state of CA. The bill for delivering and caring for the 8 babies for a couple of months, at least, in the hospital is well over $1 million! I am sure there are other compelling facts that you already know and more to come.
So with all of this, I think she is a nut and a nut of a story. I don't care how much someone needs to fill their heart and make up for a lost childhood, no one needs 14 kids to do it, even 5, 6, or 7, we all have to fill our hearts ourselves. BUT if one really needs this many, please go adopt them--millions need help. How could a reputable fertility clinic, or even one that isn't reputable, implant all those embryos? She has 6 kids under 8, she has no job or income, what else did the clinic(s) need to know..? to say "sorry, no."
Parenting is a tough job, if you have kids, or even know people with kids, we all know it is the hardest job. So many needs and wants, and costs, and time. One or even two people have a tough time with just a few kids--I know from experience, and being from a family of 7, we made it, but it is a lot of work! My parents were married, my dad had an income, my mom worked from the home, we had a great life, I cannot even image doubling that number to 14!
Children need so much, and there is no way one mom can meet 14 children's needs. I am crazed that she is getting so much press, that she got some type of "celebrity" status with the whole thing, that she just comes off so unrealistic and childish--okay maybe a teenager. To make it ironic, I believe the story about Nujood is she came from 15 brothers and sisters. God knows what kind of family life she came from, and god knows what kind of family life Nadya is putting together.
The babies are adorable and are little miracles--I do believe that, and they like every child out there deserve the best life possible. But please this story should serve as a wake up call, if nothing else that this does not happen again with fertility clinics, and in the broader sense I am not even sure what to say..I don't want to preach, god knows I have my own challenges and shortcomings, but this story is just too much for me.
Why did I put a picture of a road with fall leaves? I just did not want this to be about her photo.Almost like I don't want her image to be the focus of this. And when I thought about it, finding some quiet was what I was looking for. The road looks like something I would love to jump in and walk down.
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