I just have not been "finding Saratoga" lately. I just read my last blog and don't feel bad for writing it, which is a good thing. Have you ever felt like, "gee I should not have said that or written that..?" like we have to make everything we do or say in life be nice and sweet and upbeat or otherwise people will look at us and say "gee what a downer you are!" Oh well, too bad. I cannot be upbeat and fun all the time, that alone I find exhausting. Nor do I want to be a downer too much. Somewhere in the middle, safe and snug, now there is the place to be.
If I had to give myself some points, I am going to score well on the past week for exercise. I ran 3 times, total about 10 miles, and also did yoga every single day. Now this is a miracle for me. I have not done that, I don't know, in years? Now is the question, hanging over me, "well you made a week, can you keep it up?" I am afraid to answer that with a resounding "yes!" What if I don't..? But I have to say, I have become a fan of yoga. I never really wanted to consider it. Eight years ago when my daughter was born, I bought a yoga video tape, and never opened it! Eight years, that is a hell of a long time. But my daughter showed me the section on On Demand on TV, she even put on her little yoga outfit, and I thought "maybe I could give this a whirl." So far so good. Really good. What have I been missing?
Running, it has been great. I don't know if I could run without loud music in my ears. I love the new music players (I go all the way back to the heavy and cumberson Walkmans--I mean, that is a longgggg time ago) now the Apple Shuffle is so small, it feels like a paper clip clipped to me. When one runs with music, it really is like being in a scene from a movie, and that has some sort of magical quality for me.
So I will give myself the thumbs up for making it for one week with exercise. Now of course I worry that weeks will pass, and I will read this and feel bad. But I hope not. I cannot say at the moment it improved my week, it really didn't. I almost felt like it brought me down. It might just be I am stirring myself up, and there is all this junk and ash that has been just sitting there and it is trying desparately to get out. So maybe I am still in the "clearing out phase."
So stay tuned. Maybe I will "find Saratoga" yet in the next day, or right around the upcoming corner.
If I had to give myself some points, I am going to score well on the past week for exercise. I ran 3 times, total about 10 miles, and also did yoga every single day. Now this is a miracle for me. I have not done that, I don't know, in years? Now is the question, hanging over me, "well you made a week, can you keep it up?" I am afraid to answer that with a resounding "yes!" What if I don't..? But I have to say, I have become a fan of yoga. I never really wanted to consider it. Eight years ago when my daughter was born, I bought a yoga video tape, and never opened it! Eight years, that is a hell of a long time. But my daughter showed me the section on On Demand on TV, she even put on her little yoga outfit, and I thought "maybe I could give this a whirl." So far so good. Really good. What have I been missing?
Running, it has been great. I don't know if I could run without loud music in my ears. I love the new music players (I go all the way back to the heavy and cumberson Walkmans--I mean, that is a longgggg time ago) now the Apple Shuffle is so small, it feels like a paper clip clipped to me. When one runs with music, it really is like being in a scene from a movie, and that has some sort of magical quality for me.
So I will give myself the thumbs up for making it for one week with exercise. Now of course I worry that weeks will pass, and I will read this and feel bad. But I hope not. I cannot say at the moment it improved my week, it really didn't. I almost felt like it brought me down. It might just be I am stirring myself up, and there is all this junk and ash that has been just sitting there and it is trying desparately to get out. So maybe I am still in the "clearing out phase."
So stay tuned. Maybe I will "find Saratoga" yet in the next day, or right around the upcoming corner.
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