I read this the other day. We all know this. This is a message we see over and over. The past is the past. We cannot live our present and our future out of the past. And it is true. However..I don't think we would be told this, read it over and over and over again, if it was not simply the human condition. Otherwise, we would just be wired to make each day a new day and have no filter for it. There would be no need for seminars, or books, or counseling, no talk shows, I mean we would all just be cruising along every day without ever looking back or being tainted by our pasts..
Was early man haunted by his past decisions. Did he stay awake wondering if he had "just done something different, said something different, taken a different path.." I really wonder. When did this descend upon us..?
I don't think we ever really lose the filter. I don't think so. I just think we learn to see it, accept it, deal with it every day, if it is something we do not want to go back to--bad relationships, drugs, alcohol, picking the wrong men, whatever it is..I don't think recovery ends for any of us, if we are even lucky enough to be recovering and not stuck in living the same mistakes over and over. But it is a fine line between the two. I don't believe there is some magical day on the calendar when we say, "wow that is all gone now. I don't feel that way/do that anymore. Poof."
I know for me, I train my mind everyday. I do all sorts of rituals, like Tarot cards, yoga, meditate (kind of) paint, write, laugh a lot, all and everything to not recreate my past. But it is right there, right next to me, I am well aware. I am training myself, but I don't think the training will ever stop, but perhaps over time it will be less, but I don't even know. We are all in need of training, whatever it is for, whatever we don't want to repeat. There are approximately 10,000 yesterdays for me that I have to let go, and that is a big number. I trained myself well in those yesterdays, and now I am in retraining.
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