"..retreat has several related meanings, all of which have in common the notion of safety or temporarily removing oneself from one's usual environment in order to become immersed in a particular subject matter. "
These past 11 months I have sort of created a retreat in my own home. I would like to go on a retreat, I really would, but perhaps I have found the best retreat right here in my own 4 walls. My dear friend the other day told me my house was a retreat and I should be open for business. What a compliment! I love, love, love the idea, and that is something I could even see down the road..not as this home, not really set for it, but some beautiful spot, like in Hawaii, or New Mexico, or Montana, somewhere remote, with breath taking views, and moments that are filled in only by space. But..until then..as I get lost a bit in a reverie..my home has served me well as my own little retreat.
I don't know if I created it, or if it came in with the moon on a rainy night last winter, when I sat here, sobbed here, in the depths of loss, on so many levels for me..but somewhere along the line my home took on a new energy. I believe that energy was always here, sometimes hiding itself a bit, from the firestorm and the facade, knowing that it could not shine through. Maybe it was my sage smudging early on, or the Tarot cards, or small alter in my bedroom, the large ornate metal crosses that stand like talismans in my front hall, the candles, the order that has been reinstated, the garden, with all its little statuaries and plants that come back each spring, and my paintings that now grace my walls, I don't know..maybe all, maybe just time, but I do feel more and more like my home has become a retreat. Exactly what I want it to be.
Now this is funny, because it has become an idea of mine that I really want, I mean really do, want a nun's habit. Okay, are you laughing?! I love the idea. I can wear it around the house. I want to be like Maria in Sound of Music. I do not recall ever actually wanting a nun's habit, let alone thinking of wearing one. Now this could not replace my clothes, because I love clothes and high shoes, but it could be another piece of me. Years ago someone at work said I reminded her of a nun, and I thought that was so sweet..I am happy that I channel that energy.
I realize I have often hid in these 4 walls this past year, and I may have overstayed my retreat time, but I had to. I have had times that I could not even walk out to get the mail. But those days seem to have gone away for the most part, and I am no longer so much hiding, but finding renewal. I do feel like my home in many ways, saved me.
These past 11 months I have sort of created a retreat in my own home. I would like to go on a retreat, I really would, but perhaps I have found the best retreat right here in my own 4 walls. My dear friend the other day told me my house was a retreat and I should be open for business. What a compliment! I love, love, love the idea, and that is something I could even see down the road..not as this home, not really set for it, but some beautiful spot, like in Hawaii, or New Mexico, or Montana, somewhere remote, with breath taking views, and moments that are filled in only by space. But..until then..as I get lost a bit in a reverie..my home has served me well as my own little retreat.
I don't know if I created it, or if it came in with the moon on a rainy night last winter, when I sat here, sobbed here, in the depths of loss, on so many levels for me..but somewhere along the line my home took on a new energy. I believe that energy was always here, sometimes hiding itself a bit, from the firestorm and the facade, knowing that it could not shine through. Maybe it was my sage smudging early on, or the Tarot cards, or small alter in my bedroom, the large ornate metal crosses that stand like talismans in my front hall, the candles, the order that has been reinstated, the garden, with all its little statuaries and plants that come back each spring, and my paintings that now grace my walls, I don't know..maybe all, maybe just time, but I do feel more and more like my home has become a retreat. Exactly what I want it to be.
Now this is funny, because it has become an idea of mine that I really want, I mean really do, want a nun's habit. Okay, are you laughing?! I love the idea. I can wear it around the house. I want to be like Maria in Sound of Music. I do not recall ever actually wanting a nun's habit, let alone thinking of wearing one. Now this could not replace my clothes, because I love clothes and high shoes, but it could be another piece of me. Years ago someone at work said I reminded her of a nun, and I thought that was so sweet..I am happy that I channel that energy.
I realize I have often hid in these 4 walls this past year, and I may have overstayed my retreat time, but I had to. I have had times that I could not even walk out to get the mail. But those days seem to have gone away for the most part, and I am no longer so much hiding, but finding renewal. I do feel like my home in many ways, saved me.
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