Loneliness

I am profoundly aware of my loneliness. I just had a terrific evening with 2 very good friends of mine, and because it is so fun I don't want the night to end. But it must. And it is in the silence that follows that I realize how alone I am and I just want to scream to the universe. I want so much to have the life I thought I had, and how do I cross this bridge to a new life I don't yet know. I want someone who I can talk to at any hour, call any time, tell any story to, the spot that only a spouse or significant other can fill. And it is in these times that I miss it so much, that it becomes a deep pain in my heart that I become so aware of and must let it slip by and float away so it does not engulf me in its moments, like all deep sadness, we just cannot stay there too long with the danger of getting stuck and never leaving. How do I replace the life I thought I had, how do I wake up one day and be far away from writing these thoughts..that is the million dollar question these days, as this is the life I am living. And out of the blue I taste salty tears that find a way to fall and remind me that I am just writing these thoughts on a blank screen and there is no one to hear me.