Today my very dear friend Diane passed away. Diane has lived with cancer for 9 years. It has been so long, it almost came to feel like Diane has just always had cancer. I got the call earlier this evening. It was just a week ago that the email was sent out that she had gone into hospice care. In my mind it seemed so much longer than that. I realize there is a part of me these days that loses all sense of time. It is like I entered the "Danna Dimension" and it is some separate world that I often live in and wonder where the path will lead. I feel I was too focused on myself this past week and did not even think to meditate on Diane. Why I so know she would forgive me, I really feel like I let my friendship with her down. Thank god, as I look back, that I was one who did write her a posting last week when I found out she was in hospice care, and told her how much I love to see her picture with my daughter and her daughter go across my screen all day, it made me feel like she is with me.
Diane was a very special friend to me. Do you know how friends meet so many different needs for us? Some we don't see or speak to that often, but every time we do, it is like not one second has passed, and they have not forgotten one thing about us and are right there again. That is who Diane is. I felt like I had this tremendous fan club with Diane. Years ago when my husband left the first time, it was Diane who was largely there for me. She used to have breakfast with me, back then I lived in Santa Cruz, and we would discuss my life and the way it was going. And she would pray for me and she would counsel me and she had this great gift of humor. And I used to have dinner at their house and went to church with her and her husband and sang wonderful church songs, and I felt taken care of. And then it seemed as quickly as he left, he came back, and Diane was a supporter. Like I said, she was always a fan for me.
And when our marriage ended this February and I wrote Diane, even in her midst of dying with cancer, she wrote me such a beautiful and heartfelt note, and once again, it was not like any time had passed. There was great comfort in being a friend of Diane's. I hope she will be one of my spirit guides, I would be so lucky.
So Diane is gone. It marks the end of an era for me. Of our daughters being young girls and friends and growing into beautiful young women, of my breakfasts with Diane trying to sort out my heart, of my own youth leaving me as we all march into new eras. Diane was one to treasure, with a huge smile and heart and a gift of laughter, I can still see her and hear her, and I am sure I always will.
Peace to my lovely friend, Diane.
Diane was a very special friend to me. Do you know how friends meet so many different needs for us? Some we don't see or speak to that often, but every time we do, it is like not one second has passed, and they have not forgotten one thing about us and are right there again. That is who Diane is. I felt like I had this tremendous fan club with Diane. Years ago when my husband left the first time, it was Diane who was largely there for me. She used to have breakfast with me, back then I lived in Santa Cruz, and we would discuss my life and the way it was going. And she would pray for me and she would counsel me and she had this great gift of humor. And I used to have dinner at their house and went to church with her and her husband and sang wonderful church songs, and I felt taken care of. And then it seemed as quickly as he left, he came back, and Diane was a supporter. Like I said, she was always a fan for me.
And when our marriage ended this February and I wrote Diane, even in her midst of dying with cancer, she wrote me such a beautiful and heartfelt note, and once again, it was not like any time had passed. There was great comfort in being a friend of Diane's. I hope she will be one of my spirit guides, I would be so lucky.
So Diane is gone. It marks the end of an era for me. Of our daughters being young girls and friends and growing into beautiful young women, of my breakfasts with Diane trying to sort out my heart, of my own youth leaving me as we all march into new eras. Diane was one to treasure, with a huge smile and heart and a gift of laughter, I can still see her and hear her, and I am sure I always will.
Peace to my lovely friend, Diane.
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