A New Day

I hope what I am feeling, lasts. It is true what they say, everything starts to look different. Cannot say it is love yet..but maybe puppy love? :) It is this all encompassing feeling that surrounds me in all I do, like a force field around me. Yet even so, I think if it fell away, I might still be okay. I don't know that for sure though, and am in no hurry to find out.

It is just the space I am in now is something I do remember, but guess I forgot about. I hold myself responsible for forgetting about it. I did not see that I had during the latter years of my marriage. It is so hard to see the forest for the trees. But then again, I suppose we all lose it over time in long term commited relationships. Or maybe not? I did love him. A lot. But in the end it did not matter.

Now I feel a sense of profound freedom with my emotions and my being. It is like I am somewhat floating, I am basking in someone liking me. I cannot totally "do that" for myself. And it comes in, so quietly and so quickly at all once. I have a fan :) a truly nice thing to have again.

I am only in the moment these days. Maybe that is my new found secret. I used to say I had to live half day to half day during my divorce, as I could often hardly breathe, and not stop the tears. But those days seem to be gone. Funny.

My one brother and I have a phrase we say to each other when we are down...
"What a difference a day makes." We say it when the other one forgets it. And it happened for me. A day made a difference. Bless that day.