I dreamt last night that my little girl was a baby, about 6 months old. And there was this tremendous love as I held her, I could not get enough. I woke up remembering how much I loved her as a baby. That beautiful chubby baby that I could hold and hold. I miss it. I loved it. I have so many dreams that are frustrating and sad and difficult..I wish I did not want. Well they come and go. So to have a dream full of love is such a wonderful thing.
Maybe I had the dream because I am feeling more full of love these days, in a way that had left me for a long time. It is easy to forget how that feels. One just gets used to a new way of being. But now that I feel love again, I don't know how I let it go. I am listening to a song right now, and the chorus is "..don't let it go.." and it seems fitting. "Have a little faith in me, and I will have a little faith in you..so have a little faith in me..don't let it go.." Michael Franti..love it..
I used to clean my house because it was a way to move my energy and keep my mind moving. I would probably have cleaned until my hands bled, so I could feel some completion, so it was some how all worth it..my hands never did bleed, but I guess I did in my heart. But now I am cleaning, and I am finding it far more freeing than a safety net. I found faith in me, and I am glad.
Dreams float around my head now, for the future. I believe that life is so fleeting, and that one day, in the not far future in the continuum of life, we will not matter anyhow. So I want to matter why I am here. I want to matter for my family and my children and my friends and the one I love. I will die happy that way.
My life has in some ways been a series of mistakes, and yet I seem to be open to throwing myself more into the unknown, perhaps it is just the way I am wired. I believe that love and forgiveness are the cornerstone of why we are here. It is strange to be, so much goes with it, and yet at the end of the day it matters so little. I suppose it is all in the moments, not in the total length of time.
Maybe I had the dream because I am feeling more full of love these days, in a way that had left me for a long time. It is easy to forget how that feels. One just gets used to a new way of being. But now that I feel love again, I don't know how I let it go. I am listening to a song right now, and the chorus is "..don't let it go.." and it seems fitting. "Have a little faith in me, and I will have a little faith in you..so have a little faith in me..don't let it go.." Michael Franti..love it..
I used to clean my house because it was a way to move my energy and keep my mind moving. I would probably have cleaned until my hands bled, so I could feel some completion, so it was some how all worth it..my hands never did bleed, but I guess I did in my heart. But now I am cleaning, and I am finding it far more freeing than a safety net. I found faith in me, and I am glad.
Dreams float around my head now, for the future. I believe that life is so fleeting, and that one day, in the not far future in the continuum of life, we will not matter anyhow. So I want to matter why I am here. I want to matter for my family and my children and my friends and the one I love. I will die happy that way.
My life has in some ways been a series of mistakes, and yet I seem to be open to throwing myself more into the unknown, perhaps it is just the way I am wired. I believe that love and forgiveness are the cornerstone of why we are here. It is strange to be, so much goes with it, and yet at the end of the day it matters so little. I suppose it is all in the moments, not in the total length of time.
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