Waiting

Well I just watched 2 hours of Sex and the City to find some kind of comfort. And. I. Did. Everytime I watch it I love it so much. There is so much that rings true for me.

I had a good "meet" last night--I might even go so far to say it was a great "meet."It had good energy, it was fun, there was chemistry, he was cute, he had smile that didn't quit and twinkling eyes. I told him so in my follow up note (I feel like I am doing sales here..) Anyhow, then the quiet. Did he even read it? Or did he read it and say "run." It was pretty simple, and least in my opinion. I have no real idea how to even follow up after a "meet" that I think goes well, let alone even go out on a real date. Nope, I have no idea. I just try to go with my hunches.

So now like all girls, since the beginning of time, I torture myself. Really. It is so crazy. He may never contact me again, he may never call. And after one email, one hour phone call, and a 2.5 hour meet, why should I even give it, let's say, 10 minutes of thought..but I do. It has always been that way for me. When I decide I like someone, well then I do.

I am SO very glad that I am leaving town for 3 days tomorrow, so I can put my head someplace else, and laugh and drink and forget my life here..and then, yeah then, he will call out of the blue..or not..

It makes me freak out more, that what if I dated him, and then in like 3 months he dumps me? I can barely stand one day of wondering. I just got over ending a 15 year marriage, and pretty much died doing it..so I so don't want to go down those roads again. I have always wondered--when two people decide they love each other, why can't that just be it? I used to wonder that about my husband..and then it wasn't.

So now I have myself a bit wrapped up in inventing a reality that doesn't even exist. Really, can I please have my own tv show.

I will let you know how it goes, you can count on it.