"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, look through your book
And make me a perfect match." Fiddler on the Roof
These lyrics were just ringing in my ears (I don't think I have ever seen Fiddler on the Roof, or only parts but then again I do know part of "....sunrise, sunset.." I am singing it in my head right now!
I could have been the living embodiment of the Evelyn Wood's Speed Reading class, last Monday afternoon, as I ate up, "Become Your Own Matchmaker" http://www.amazon.com/Become-Your-Own-Matchmaker-Attracting/dp/1416597719 I mean all 273 pages worth, in just a few hours, I could not put it down!
There were so many things that jumped out at me, I have to say I loved the book and totally recommend it!
One thing to start with, and I apologize this is crude (but it is her words, actually sounds like it is Hollywood's words..) "f*&^ability factor" ..you gotta have it! For men it is all about the packaging, one look and they decide if you are a keeper or going to get tossed back. They are not looking for someone who is beautiful on the inside, as so many women hope or think they should be. Does not mean they don't care about the inside, they do, but like shopping, they are first stopped by what they see. And then she goes on to detail all the pieces--hair, teeth, skin, makeup, body, it is pretty good. The good news is, for me, I felt like I am on top of this, so I am going to give myself a big :) here. I love the term though, and now it is housed in my brain and I like to say it to myself in my head, it is a cute phrase.
Men LOVE heels. Good, so do I. Love them.
All the places to meet men. I think I liked the list best of where you won't meet men. Things like spirituality workshops, cruise ships, frozen yogurt shops, salons, bars and clubs. Even Starbucks. I was surprised by that one. So many people work remotely these days, and hang out in a coffee shop for some atmosphere, when compared to their home office all day, so that one, I am going to still consider a maybe (although I have never taken my laptop to a coffee place to work..I am too shy really.)
I love her Dating Commandments. Words to live by. Now the cute phrase above comes to mind, because that is like a huge land mine for me. We know all guys want "it." They are not going out for the conversation..not really..they may enjoy it..but they can talk to their sister. In the end it is always the same. It has been a long time since I even went on a date (I don't count my "meets"..) so this land mine is just sitting out there, coyly waiting for me to step away. (I am sure there will probaby be a blog that comes out of it..)
Danger signs..okay I believe I have encountered all of them. Ouch.
Cagey
Too Spontaneous
Addictive
Strained Family Relationships
Mom Issues
Rage
Dishonesty
Egotism
Vanity
Email and Texting (these did not exist in the "dark ages" :) )
Yep I encountered all of these! Was I blind, did I think I would do magic and erase it all ? I would be worth it? Honestly I don't have any of the warning signs. Not one.
Oops, on the flip side though, here is what guys complain about..
Flaky
Needy
Demanding
High Maintenance
Live Beyond Her Means
Entitled
Bitter
Not Rational
Doesn't Know What She Wants
Doesn't Prioritize Her Love
Picky
Deceitful
Insecure
Not Feminine
Doesn't Cook
Okay, let's go through that list..
I can be demanding, but I don't think overly so. I just happen to be super organized (have you read my blog on cleaning and getting rid of clutter..?)
I have been told by a certain someone that I did not make him a priority. Let me say that is a fine line..I totally made him a priority, my whole life centered around him. But in his eyes, it was not what he wanted. IE more s*x. I think that could be true for a lot of guys. Guys are babies. Sorry. They. Are.
Yes I am picky, I admit it.
No I am not insecure. I was pegged that when I was with a c-h-e-a-t-e-r...I had no idea of the infidelity, but I was aware of the energy I could sense, so that came out as insecure. I have searched me this last year, and I am hardly insecure..
I will admit, I don't cook much. I could, I would, like the story goes of "Green Eggs and Ham.."
So what did I get from the book. Unknowingly I have already prepared myself for Love #3 (I have had a first love, a love of my life..so now maybe I can just wrap the two together for Love #3.. :) While Stanger can be perfectly frank, she is also like a modern day fairy godmother, and I liked that.
I believed in love. I still do.
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, look through your book
And make me a perfect match." Fiddler on the Roof
These lyrics were just ringing in my ears (I don't think I have ever seen Fiddler on the Roof, or only parts but then again I do know part of "....sunrise, sunset.." I am singing it in my head right now!
I could have been the living embodiment of the Evelyn Wood's Speed Reading class, last Monday afternoon, as I ate up, "Become Your Own Matchmaker" http://www.amazon.com/Become-Your-Own-Matchmaker-Attracting/dp/1416597719 I mean all 273 pages worth, in just a few hours, I could not put it down!
There were so many things that jumped out at me, I have to say I loved the book and totally recommend it!
One thing to start with, and I apologize this is crude (but it is her words, actually sounds like it is Hollywood's words..) "f*&^ability factor" ..you gotta have it! For men it is all about the packaging, one look and they decide if you are a keeper or going to get tossed back. They are not looking for someone who is beautiful on the inside, as so many women hope or think they should be. Does not mean they don't care about the inside, they do, but like shopping, they are first stopped by what they see. And then she goes on to detail all the pieces--hair, teeth, skin, makeup, body, it is pretty good. The good news is, for me, I felt like I am on top of this, so I am going to give myself a big :) here. I love the term though, and now it is housed in my brain and I like to say it to myself in my head, it is a cute phrase.
Men LOVE heels. Good, so do I. Love them.
All the places to meet men. I think I liked the list best of where you won't meet men. Things like spirituality workshops, cruise ships, frozen yogurt shops, salons, bars and clubs. Even Starbucks. I was surprised by that one. So many people work remotely these days, and hang out in a coffee shop for some atmosphere, when compared to their home office all day, so that one, I am going to still consider a maybe (although I have never taken my laptop to a coffee place to work..I am too shy really.)
I love her Dating Commandments. Words to live by. Now the cute phrase above comes to mind, because that is like a huge land mine for me. We know all guys want "it." They are not going out for the conversation..not really..they may enjoy it..but they can talk to their sister. In the end it is always the same. It has been a long time since I even went on a date (I don't count my "meets"..) so this land mine is just sitting out there, coyly waiting for me to step away. (I am sure there will probaby be a blog that comes out of it..)
Danger signs..okay I believe I have encountered all of them. Ouch.
Cagey
Too Spontaneous
Addictive
Strained Family Relationships
Mom Issues
Rage
Dishonesty
Egotism
Vanity
Email and Texting (these did not exist in the "dark ages" :) )
Yep I encountered all of these! Was I blind, did I think I would do magic and erase it all ? I would be worth it? Honestly I don't have any of the warning signs. Not one.
Oops, on the flip side though, here is what guys complain about..
Flaky
Needy
Demanding
High Maintenance
Live Beyond Her Means
Entitled
Bitter
Not Rational
Doesn't Know What She Wants
Doesn't Prioritize Her Love
Picky
Deceitful
Insecure
Not Feminine
Doesn't Cook
Okay, let's go through that list..
I can be demanding, but I don't think overly so. I just happen to be super organized (have you read my blog on cleaning and getting rid of clutter..?)
I have been told by a certain someone that I did not make him a priority. Let me say that is a fine line..I totally made him a priority, my whole life centered around him. But in his eyes, it was not what he wanted. IE more s*x. I think that could be true for a lot of guys. Guys are babies. Sorry. They. Are.
Yes I am picky, I admit it.
No I am not insecure. I was pegged that when I was with a c-h-e-a-t-e-r...I had no idea of the infidelity, but I was aware of the energy I could sense, so that came out as insecure. I have searched me this last year, and I am hardly insecure..
I will admit, I don't cook much. I could, I would, like the story goes of "Green Eggs and Ham.."
So what did I get from the book. Unknowingly I have already prepared myself for Love #3 (I have had a first love, a love of my life..so now maybe I can just wrap the two together for Love #3.. :) While Stanger can be perfectly frank, she is also like a modern day fairy godmother, and I liked that.
I believed in love. I still do.
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