I blinked and November came and went. It more just went. I barely even remember November..it seems like there was Halloween, Thanksgiving Day and then December 1.
I am really happy. I am very in love. I look across the room and think"I love you." It makes me almost cry to think it, let alone say it. It is like a rushing wave, that has come in and filled so many gaps in my soul that grew over the past couple of years. I don't know, but for me, those gaps can only be filled with being in love. And yet there is a part of me that wonders if the bottom will fall out. I feel like I was trained for so long, to be on alert, that at any given moment what I had would all fall away, and in the end, it did. So it is somewhat hard for me to believe it is real, it is not going away, it is not an illusion and I can believe. I hope so. I like feeling this way.
And there is this expanse now in my mind, I suppose like love opening up more and more. Hard to convey. It fills my thoughts, and my dreams. It becomes my future. I have said before that I am walking across two bridges--one that is leaving my past, and one that leads to my future. I walk them in tandem, although the past bridge I believe I have all but walked across. I don't feel like there is any more unfinished business. I am glad that I love my past. It is a good place to be. And I love the idea of my future, another good place to be.
I told my little daughter last night that I believe we are here to love and forgive. It is like a constant cycle, it never stops. It seems we must forgive all the time..it can be for very small things or much bigger things. But there is no getting around forgiveness. And love, love is this amazing part of life..it fills every day and so many moments, and we can see it by just looking across the room :) .
I am really happy. I am very in love. I look across the room and think"I love you." It makes me almost cry to think it, let alone say it. It is like a rushing wave, that has come in and filled so many gaps in my soul that grew over the past couple of years. I don't know, but for me, those gaps can only be filled with being in love. And yet there is a part of me that wonders if the bottom will fall out. I feel like I was trained for so long, to be on alert, that at any given moment what I had would all fall away, and in the end, it did. So it is somewhat hard for me to believe it is real, it is not going away, it is not an illusion and I can believe. I hope so. I like feeling this way.
And there is this expanse now in my mind, I suppose like love opening up more and more. Hard to convey. It fills my thoughts, and my dreams. It becomes my future. I have said before that I am walking across two bridges--one that is leaving my past, and one that leads to my future. I walk them in tandem, although the past bridge I believe I have all but walked across. I don't feel like there is any more unfinished business. I am glad that I love my past. It is a good place to be. And I love the idea of my future, another good place to be.
I told my little daughter last night that I believe we are here to love and forgive. It is like a constant cycle, it never stops. It seems we must forgive all the time..it can be for very small things or much bigger things. But there is no getting around forgiveness. And love, love is this amazing part of life..it fills every day and so many moments, and we can see it by just looking across the room :) .
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